Animals, or should I say pets

Why do we have pets? Please, anyone out there explain to me why we feel the need to have an animal trapped inside with us, thinking that this would be awesome with some sort of positive reward. Where's my R.O.I.????

Some would say unconditional love.... yes, some peoples pets love them unconditionally. Mine do not.

Some would say companionship.... yes, some peoples pets make great companions. Mine do not. Sadie, my dog, won't really run with me. She will however run behind me plotting my death. Sadie won't really walk with me either. She will be ten paces behind sulking. Freckles, my cat, will only be with me if it's around 3am and she wants my pillow. So she will take it.

Some would say snuggles.... yes, some peoples pets snuggle them. Mine do not. Unless forced which never turns out well for me. That usually ends with me feeling rejected and quite possibly scratched and bleeding.

Last week was a super killer awfully busy work week for me. Insane. Roller coaster. Couldn't wait for it to be over. Anyway, on Tuesday night I was completely exhausted. I could barely think straight. Rob and I watched the hockey game at a friends across the street then afterwards we went for some sushi. After I stuffed myself with some sushi I politely excused myself from the table and went home. All I could think about was bed. Sweet glorious bed. I dragged my butt home and promptly went to bed, falling asleep into dreamland.

Only to be awoken by Rob at some point to inform me that Freckles had barfed on the bed, next to my head. I was so_darn_tired... I barely opened up my right eye to take a look to confirm that yes, there was a big pile of unprocessed cat puke right next to my head. Awesome. So then I asked myself: can you sleep with puke next to you..... I was leaning towards the answer of "yes" until I became a bit more awake... to realize that it just wasn't next to me. My freakin' cat puked on my head. It was on my pillow and in my hair. OH_MY_GOD. So I had to get up and clean myself and my bed. I was just too tired to do it..... but it got done.

I found out the next morning that Rob didn't actually wake me up to tell me about puke, but to declare his news of what had just happened to him: he was out innocently walking the dog.... who of course darted into the bush, bit a skunk who in return sprayed her and Rob..... Ugh. He had to walk to the 24hr animal hospital to get skunk stuff, go back to our garbage room where there is a hose, wash him, the dog and our friend Steve who also had the pleasure of getting sprayed, go back upstairs, wash his clothes, have a shower and finally made it to be around 5:30am.

I got up a few hours later to go to work only to find another small pile of puke, but this time on the floor, however it was next to a pile of cat poop. I think the cat barfed and while doing so squished out a log. So I had to spend the first fifteen minutes of being awake, cleaning up animal stuff.

So why do we have pets?